Love is complicated
by Elkica
Summary: SephirothAxel. Axel dies… only so he can wake up with a beating heart in some small world, actually in the world Sephiroth called his home. Yup. Poor Axel or should it be poor Sephiroth?


**Love is complicated**

**Author note:** I know, I know it's really a crack pairing, but I really, really like it; they are just soo… different. Well I tried to keep them in character, but I gave Axel a heart and we all know it hard to be a all jolly, jolly and indifferent, when you have a heart. And also did you like I always suspected that Axel has s very soft core under his "annoying, teasing" façade, if you did, yeah you were right. And it this fic, I have to inform you Axel is is on the moments really pathetic. Yes, I'm a bitch and I enjoy every minute of it. (insert evil laughter).

And another thing, has anybody asked himself where Seph goes in KH, when he isn't fighting and annoying Cloud or scaring other people… well you know now… he has a small world of his own (probably stumbled on it some day and said to himself, I could live here, no humans and animals to bother me… well not until Axel died or lets say until fate know under name of Ela decided to put Axel on Seph's world. YAY.

Ok, ok, I'm already at the end of my AN… so read and let me know what you think.

**Warrning:** Aghast, maybe a little too graphical smut and a little fluff at the end; oh, oh I can't also forget the grammar mistakes .

**Love is complicated**

**Pretending**

The soft rays of moonlight were shining on the small bundle hiding under the blanket on the bed by the window. The room was small and messy. Things laying everywhere; on the desk by the bed, on the chair before the desk, on the floor and peeking through slightly ajar door of the closet.

The small bundle stretched in the sleep, kicked the blanket away, exposing the tanned, slender body of a young adult dressed only in boxers.

The shadow who was but a moment ago part of room, part of the darkness that was hovering in the corners of the room, came over to the bed and towered over the boy.

Gloved fingers went through the boy's brown spiked hair, the owner of the fingers wishing for them to be blond, wishing that in the heart he now possessed, he could feel something more for the boy who carried a certain Nobody in his core; something more than this shitty brothering need to protect him.

The boy whimpered and shifted under his caress. The light that was coming through the window has reflected itself for the moment on the boy's crown shaped necklace.

The man's eye caught the silver flash and the gloved hand fingered the necklace, fingertips caressing the silver smooth surface. Silver like somebody's hair.

A soft sigh escaped from the man's lips and his heart made a little flip in his chest. As much as he in the past wished for the heart, for the beat to fill the silence in his chest, he now hated it. He hated the fact that this new good for nothing part of him loved somebody, making him want to be close to that person, causing his knees to become jelly and the disgusting feeling of butterflies in his stomach, whenever that person was near.

He bended his head down, kissed the boy on his forehead and murmured a silent goodbye. His heart will never love the blonde Nobody, even though his presence in the past calmed, hushed the pain of the flesh and eased the numbness of the mind, because it had never had a chance to meet and get to know the boy and there was even less possibilities for it to love the brown, spike haired saver of the worlds, just because somebody who took the pain away and brought him joy was hidden in that boy's heart.

The hot water was falling down on tall, lean, almost thin body. The man was leaning with his palms on the titled wall, the red hair which was almost always in the wild disarray of long spikes, was now plastered on the man's face, intruding in his half closed green eyes and falling like a red cascade down his back.

He turned off the water, stepped out from the shower and wrapped his wiry body in the big towel he earlier prepared. A small shiver shook his body. He was cold, always so cold now and even the half-hour long hot shower didn't help him in warming up his body. Which was funny in a way… after all the fire was his element and he was never cold before he died, before he find himself in this stilled, small hidden world. He knew only for one thing that would successful chase off the coldness and warm him from inside out.

He grinned to himself, opened the cabinet between the shower and the sink, pulled out the small soft towel and began with drying his hair. Actually it made him feel like his whole body was on fire, covered his skin with the thin layer of perspiration and make his world to spin and then erupt in the thousand of white, silver flashes.

But he was damned if he would go to that cold bastard. Even though he was the one who started with the whole ordeal, even though he teased, taunted and seduced that bastard until the feathers were ruffled and the one winged angel pounced on him… no, not pounced… just took what was offered to him; and all because he felt attraction toward the men the first moment he lay eyes on him. Because he felt numb, empty and alone since the moment he opened his eyes and found himself in the one-winged angel's world, the sun shining down on him and heard for the first time heart beat in his chest. And he cried then for the first time in his life, because he was alive, because when he had been turn to dusk, that should be the end… but it wasn't.

He went out of the bathroom and walked down the hall in what he called his room. He did expected the attachment toward the man, past experiences taught him that when you are 'close' to somebody you get attach and the silver haired man was the only person he saw, heard and touch until he was strong enough to open a portal in other worlds on his own; which actually meant until a few hours before. But he never thought… He never expected to fall in love with the man. Damn. But he was and love really complicates things. It makes you vulnerable and mushy. Axel shivered again. All yucky.

He dropped the towels on the floor and took from the closet underwear, comfortable cotton slack, T-shirt with a long sleeves and a warm sweater. He dressed and smiled sadly when his gaze glanced over the clothes that he possessed, when he closed the closet. The one-winged angel was the one that helped him in getting his stuff from that stuck-up castle that he use to call his home. It was true that he had to coax and beg like a dog, before that man was willing to open the portal to his ex-room, but the act was somehow important for Axel, because after it the silver haired man was drained so much that it took almost a whole month to gain all of his energy back. The opening of the portals wasn't really that man's forte; at least there was one thing that that bastard didn't excel at it.

"Axel," the melodic smooth voice intruded.

Axel whirled around. There he was. Sephiroth. Leaning on the doorframe, clad only in his traditional leather pants, the silver hair framing that beautiful face with high cheekbones, shining green cat-like eyes and those pink kissable lips. Axel gaze slid over the naked muscled chest and he had to mentally rein his body not to jump on the man and tear those tight fit pants off of him. He unconscious licked his lips. "What?"

"You came back. I'm glad." The silver haired men stepped in the room and picked up the towels that Axel dropped on the floor and throw them in the casket Axel had for his dirty laundry by the closet. "Any greetings for me from Sora?"

"No." How did he know? Axel narrowed his eyes at him. Did he follow him? "Am I a new object of your stalking tendencies?" Axel grimaced his face at his choice of words. It seems that Sephiroth was rubbing on him.

A glint in green eyes and an all-knowing smirk on the man face told him that he apparently was.

"I'm flattered". The widest smirk Axel was able to produce found its place on Axel's face. "But don't let me keep you away from your little boy-toy." Axel inwardly flinched. He hated the hurt and jealously that made him react the way he did. He walked by Sephiroth toward the doors with intention to leave the room and escape the danger of saying too much.

A hand grabbed him by the throat, turning him so that he was faced with one very nasty smirk. He was pushed back until his back hit the wall.

"Cloud was my puppet, not a toy." The smirk was transformed in something Axel couldn't name, but it give him the feeling of how small and insignificant he was. Yeah, Sephiroth was good with that inferior stuff.

Axel held still, the wide grin was still plastered on his face; he used his smirks, grins and smiles like they were an amour, like they could protect him from the pain that would over-flood him as soon as his mask would crack. But mask was on its place. Intact. And still pain bloomed in him. Why am I not important as he was? Why are you making me feel like I'm worthless dog, not even worth enough to lick your boots. "A puppet. A toy. All the same to me."

"It's not the same, Axel. Toy is a wider term and defines everything that you play with. And puppets are the kind of toy you guide, manage with strings." Sephiroth paused for a dramatic effect. "Very sensitive threads those strings. They can break, snap or entangle so easily. Not much amusement in that." The one winged angel sighed. "Puppets are on the long term really a dispensable, tedious things." A hand was still holding Axel by the throat and now a knee intruded between Axel's legs.

Axel resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sephiroth and his 'lectures'. People had always told him that he was one big loud mouth and to tell the truth, he did enjoyed hearing his own voice, but when silver haired man got in the right mood… But the danger of a long boring speech wasn't the thing that was making him anxious. That damn knee was putting pressure on his groin and let say… he felt a little light-headed due to effect that all his blood was with the lighting speed traveling in his lover regions. He focused his eyes at the nonexistent point at the opposite wall. "Seph. Everything's tedious to you."

"But then we also have dolls, Axel." Sephiroth ignored him." The right kind of doll can be amusement for a long years to come." A hand released its hold on Axel neck, but only to grip the red hair at Axel's nape and pull it. "If you don't break it that is.

Sephiroth smirked, before his teeth grazed the exposed skin on Axel's neck and then bit down on long muscle at the side of the neck, not hard enough for the teeth to break the skin, but hard enough to leave a mark. "And I don't have any intensions to break my red-haired doll."

Red-haired doll? Him? Yeah, that was probably all that he was to Sephiroth. A doll, a toy. It made sense in a way. Even though the thought of somebody calling Him a doll was funny; the meaning behind it, made his heart clench in pain. But being called a doll was definitely improvement from what Sephiroth called him the first time Axel brought him to the point of annoyance, when he was ready to draw out his long katana. Yea, a doll bets annoying insect every time. With closing his eyelids he hid the sadness that his eyes betrayed. He fisted his hands and forced his lips in a lopsided smile. He even managed to put cheerfulness in his voice: "Too much fun paying with it, huh?"

"Indeed." Sephiroth closed that little distance that was between their faces and pressed a harsh, almost bruising kiss on Axel's lips, then grabbed red head's bottom lip between his and sucked it, while his hand found its way under the layers of Axel's clothing to slide over the pale, smooth skin.

Axel wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's neck and pressed himself close to that warm body. When the tongue slipped in his mouth and engage them in the passionate, sensual kiss, he silently moaned in other one's mouth. Sephiroth didn't know it, but even though he was just a doll to him, the silver haired man was his angel and he would take whatever he can get from his angel, no matter how much pain that caused. He was used to pain anyway, a little more didn't mattered that much.

The hand that was in Axel's hair slid lower, over his back, played for the moment with the waistband of his pants, then slide underneath them, cupping Axel's tight ass.

Axel ended the kiss and leaned on silver haired man's shoulder, his lungs gasping for air. He opened his lust glazed green eyes and let his body to enjoy the simple caress of Sephiroth's skilful hands for a moment longer before he pushed him away.

"Doesn't my doll want to play?" The surprise was for the second evident on Sephiroth's face, before it became a cold, indifferent mask.

Axel hated it, that expression of I-don't- care-for-anything on his angel's face. His green eyes slide lower and stopped at the obvious bulge under black leather pants and he grinned. At least there was some evidence of what they were doing, of something that he enticed, that he caused.

He pulled his sweater over his head and tossed it on the floor. He didn't need it any more, Sephiroth's hands have warmed him enough and now the thing was only in a way. The T-shirt followed. He strode over his bed, looked over his shoulder at his angel. "Of course I want to play."

Axel jumped on the bed and patted with his hand the spot beside him. "C'mon. Lets play."

Sephiroth just stood there, his eyes slightly narrowed at Axel like he is annoyed by something.

Axel sighed. It seemed that his invitation sounded to Sephiroth like an order and let just say that man didn't responded well to orders. Damn. Why does he have to be sensitive?

Axel smiled; he knew just a thing that will put Sephiroth past his sensitiveness. "Does your doll have to play alone?" He leaned back, putting weight of his body on his left elbow, while the other one made a slow path over his chest; rolling between his fingers first one nipple, then the other; then crept down. He divided his half-bent legs in a wanton display.

Axel's green eyes were glued on the cat-ones, when he with his hand went under the cotton fabric of his pants, his fingers cupping his erection. He moaned and watched how Sephiroth's eyes widened and how his angel's breath just slightly accelerated at the display he was making.

Their eyes locked, Sephiroth moved closer to the bed, his movement's wild cat-like, so graceful, he climbed on the mattress, over Axel, towering over him, covering them both under the fall of silver, long hair.

Axel knew better then to stop his administration. His eyes were half closed, his head thrown back and his breath fast and harsh.

Sephiroth took the read-head's face between his palms and gave him a hot, breath stealing kiss, then positioned his hands on the bed, capturing Axel's body between them and glided with his hot mouth down Axel's throat, nibbling and licking the pale, soft skin. Down still, his mouth captured the read head's nipple, closed over it and sucked.

Axel's hand stopped and he arched his back. Putting both of his arms around his angel's neck, he closed his eyes.

Sephiroth lowered them down, his mouth giving the attention to the other rigid bud. Slowly, liquidly, gently soft his mouth, tongue and hands were sliding, stroking and caressing every exposed inch of Axel's body, until the read head was nothing more than a quivering, moaning mass of flesh.

Axel couldn't take this anymore. It was never like that, never before has Sephiroth's touch show tenderness; never before have those hand caressed him like he was something special and he resented that. It was a lie, all a lie. He steeled him self and as soon as he was able to breath again, his hand withdraw from the silver mass of hair and he reached down toward the buttons of silver haired man's trousers.

Sephiroth helped the shaking fingers with unbuttoning his pants, then with a quick, graceful movement he was out of them and a few second later Axel found himself naked too.

As soon Sephiroth resumed his former position, Axel hooked his leg around silver haired man's hips, lifted his hips, rubbing himself. Oh, god. A soft sob escaped from his lips. "Please."

Sephiroth smirked down at him and with his hand reached toward his bedside table, where the tube of lube was. He opened it, coated his fingers and reached down.

Axel wrapped his wiry arms around Sephiroth shoulder and with big glazed with lust eyes stared in those beautiful green eyes that was focused on him.

A hand with light, touches fingered his erection, then slide down, rubbing his entrance and then one finger found its way in to him, then two, with the scissoring motion stretching him, lubricating him inside.

Axel wriggled his ass. That man was too slow for his taste. He wanted a hard long fuck damn it, not the gentle, soft torture that his angel was inflicting on him.

"Inpatient much?" Sephiroth chuckled, a warm sound that was coming deep inside his chest. He added the third finger and flexed them around in the warm, slick passage until he fingertips found that special spot and pressed down on it.

A loud sob slipped out from Axel's mouth, his eyes closed, his back arched and his toes curled, when the white sparks flashed beneath his eyelids.

When he opened his eyes, Sephiroth was smirking down on him and Axel after he took a deep, long breath smirked back at him. "Ready?"

"I was suppose to ask you that," Sephiroth grinned, pushed the read head's legs high on his shoulders and positioned himself before Axel entrance, slowly pushing in.

Axel pushed out and sighed when Sephiroth was all sheltered in him. He felt so full, so good and in moments like this, Sephiroth belonged to him, was all his.

Sephiroth let Axel a few moment to adjust then he begun with a slow, shallow thrusts that made Axel to groan in frustration.

Axel with an upward face pressed his lips on the corner of Sephiroth's mouth, then move with his fingers the silver hair away from his angel's face and slide with his mouth over to that spot behind Sephiroth's ear. The spot that was making Sephiroth groan and moan in pleasure. Axel licked and sucked the soft skin.

When Sephiroth's breath hitched and his rhythm accelerate, Axel grinned to himself. It works like a charm. Every time. But not the way Axel wanted. He need more and if Sephiroth wasn't willing to do something about it, he will just have to do it himself. His hand sneaked down and he fisted his erection pumping it.

"Hands off." Sephiroth narrowed his cat-like eyes at him and rolled his hips, penetrating deep in Axel.

When Axel didn't do what he was told, Sephiroth pulled out, only the tip of his erection left in Axel. "Axel. Hands off. Now!"

"You are no fun." Axel pouted, but stopped with what he was doing and slide with his hand over Sephiroth's chest, stopping his palm over where his angel's hart was beating, his other one's fingers still tangled in silver hair at the nape of Sephiroth's neck.

Sephiroth resumed his former rhythm, but after Axel's pleads for faster, harder, he gave in and rammed in long, deep thrusts in the pale, lean body beneath him, trying to hit that sweet spot deep in Axel with every stroke.

Axel arched his back and hold on tight, his finger nails digging in his lover's muscled back every time the white flashed before his eyes. Oh, god. He loved this, he fuckingly adored this. "Please… Harder."

Sephiroth obliged.

Axel cried out, when the blow on his prostate was so hard, that he almost came. He arched his back, almost lifting them off the bed. I love you.

Sephiroth smirked down on him. Another hard, deep thrust.

Axel moaned. He was so close. So close.

"Mine."

Damn. Axel eyes were wide open, the whiteness so intensive. He gulped air in his lungs, the little droplets of perspiration mixing with the few tears that were leaking from his eyes. He grabbed that little bit of strength that was still lurking there and grinned a lopsided smile. "Posse…ssive… much."

"Mine!" Sephiroth's green gaze was intensive and his plunge even harder. "Say it."

"M…mine." Axel grinned up at him, well… tried to grin.

Sephiroth pushed deep, stretching Axel's muscles to their limit. His eyes narrowed down at the read head. He wasn't amused. "Say it."

O shit. Axel closed his eyes for a moment. O, shit. "Yo… Yours."

Another hard stroke and a hand fisted Axel erection, pumping in.

Axel could feel it, the meltdown that was about to follow. His body was one big sensitive mass of nerves and when Sephiroth's teeth simultaneous with his next deep thrust bitted down on Axel's shoulders, Axel came. Hard. His world disappeared for a long moment in white, silver light and shiver shook his body, his eyes rolled back and his toes curled. The white fluid dirtied their stomachs.

A few more strokes and Sephiroth followed Axel, empting his release deep inside the red head. He pulled out of Axel and tiredly lay down, trying not to put all the weight on the body bellow.

Axel cradled the silver haired head lying in the niche of his neck, still trying to regain his breath and to slow his heart beat. His legs were still wrapped around Sephiroth's waist and he really didn't have strength to move them. His fingers sloppily went through the silver tresses, moving away the hair that was falling down on that beautiful, perfect face, tucking it behind the ear. Why don't you love me?

The one-winged angel moved and his green eyes focused on the relaxed face beneath him before he untangled the other's legs from his body and moved off the bed.

Axel felt the tears at the corners of his eyes and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He was leaving already? He turned on his side and bended his body in the fetal position. Well he should by now be used to that and damn it…

Fuck it all, he just had the best mind blowing sex of his life and there was no need to feel miserable. He burrowed the pain that he was feeling deep inside and smiled to himself, no need at all.

The mattress behind Alex bended under the additional weight, a hand turned him on his back and a moist towel started to clean up his body.

Axel stretched his body and stared at the man that was so gently taking care of him before he closed his eyes with the hopes that sleep will quickly claim him.

" Axel. I'm sorry." Sephiroth pulled the blanket under Axel's body and covered him with it.

"Huh?" Axel opened his eyes and turned toward Sephiroth. The majestic Sephiroth is apologising! For what? "Why? For making me come?"

"No. For not loving you." Sephiroth tucked the silver hair that was intruding in his eyes, behind his ear. "I don't think I'm capable of loving somebody. But if I were, I would love _you_."

"Axel frowned. What? And then it hit him. Oh, god. He said _why don't you love me_ out loud. Oh, fuck. "Seph…"

Sephiroth didn't let him speak. "You were a nuisance at the beginning and all I wanted was for you to get out of my life." He half laid beside Axel, looking seriously down at him. "But now… With you I'm not alone anymore and you are the only one that ever wanted me."

Axel stared. Sephiroth at that moment looked so sad, so not Sephiroth. He never knew that Sephiroth felt lonely… not with that cocky attitude and that big ego that man was possessing. He put a soft smile on his face, pulled his arms from under the blanket and wrapped Sephiroth in a gentle hug. You are not alone anymore. I'm here. I will always be here.

Sephiroth hesitating returned the hug. "You are mine. I'm not giving you up. And maybe with your help I can even learn how to love."

Axel laid back on bed, his hand still loosely holding Sephiroth. He chuckled. "You are not sure you can learn something? You are Sephiroth, men. You can do anything."

"You have a point." A big cocky smirk appeared on Sephiroth's face before its transformed in the soft smile, looking a little out of place on the one winged angel's face. "Would you like for me to keep you company through the night?"

Axel withdrew his hands and smoothed the edge of the blanket. "Only if you want to."

"Axel. Don't act shy with me. It doesn't suit you." Sephiroth's eyebrow's rose. "Yes or no?"

"Yes." Axel flashed a lopsided grin and lifted the edge of the blanket in invitation.

Sephiroth graceful crawled under the blanket.

Axel cautiously inched closer, he didn't wanted to try his luck, but he really wanted to cuddle and well… they have never done that. Sephiroth usually disappeared, leaving Axel alone.

"What are you doing?" The green cat-like eyes were looking at Axel.

"Erm… Trying to cuddle." At the Sephiroth's blank expression, Axel shook his head. "Let me show you." He pressed himself to the side of Seph's body, almost draping his wiry frame around him then wrapped the angel's arm around his hip and laid his head and his palm on Sephiroth chest. "That's cuddling."

"It feels nice." Sephiroth patted Axel hip and closed his eyes.

"Yea, it does." Axel's lips curved in a soft content smile and he closed his eyes too. It actually felt fucking wonderful. To lay on Sephiroth, listening to his heartbeat; but he was not about to share that with Seph, that man's ego was already big enough.

**The end**

7


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